They come and go
Sometimes they’re new and inspired
Sometimes they’ve changed
Sometimes I only get a glimpse
Sometimes I try not to think and sometimes I force myself to

These days I can’t focus
I let things go
I forget
I get impatient
…..
These unfocused thoughts,
These Ideas 💡 ,
These Dreams and visions, …
Are Fleeting
Pushed back, all of it
The good thoughts, the bad thoughts, the can’t happen’s

So I go back to yellow, to happiness, to what brings me joy
I focus briefly on memories that make me smile
On Places I would like to go
On the people I love,
I think of the person I am, somewhere, sometime, some place
I look at myself, because I can
Because I am young, because I’m looking back,
Because I’m looking for answers, for guidance.

I write because I can
I write because it grounds me
It rips me open,

I paint because I need to
It calms me,
It helps me focus when the fear of not being able to do so scares me.
It’s a release, it’s thoughts and memories in color.

I’m forgetful because I’ve decided to let go
I’m unfocused in order to be optimistic
I’m an artist because it’s what I love to do
I’m sick, and I don’t know why

but I don’t talk about it because it too rips me open