It’s done

I opened my home, my art, my heart this weekend….in person!
It was scary, exciting, difficult, rewarding, humbling, liberating, exhausting to the point of vomiting, and a success. I sold a few pieces, I saw friends, neighbors, old and new acquaintances, I chatted up a storm, I broke a rib, I ate some brownies and had a glass of wine and ended the event puking in the bathroom. No more brownies and wine for me. Even with the less then ideal ending I call it a success. Why, because I set out to do something and I did it. And the fact that my friends were by my side made it perfect. Some of you might think this is a normal thing for me (flattering) but this was the first time I have ever opened myself up like that. Kudos to me.

I was worried (about a lot of stuff) that after this event, after I completed this project I would be left feeling empty. That I would have nothing left to look forward to (especially with winter coming). But I feel great. Well not really. I’m physically and emotionally drained, but in a good way. So I’m resting and taking the week off, sort of.
I’m enjoying the wonderful weather, I’m slowly putting all my paintings away, I’ve got projects lined up in my head, I’ve got my sketch book out already (my right arm isn’t happy about this, its still pretty sore), I’ve got a painting I’ve been commissioned to do (it’s going to be hard working off of someone else’s inspiration. But I’m ready for the challenge), and I’m thinking of my next collection.
I know what I want to do, but I’m not sure I should. This latest collection (honestly, I hate calling it that but that’s what it was so…) was about happy memories. Places and colors, and memories that brighten my day, my thoughts. This next collection is going to be smaller for one (3 or 4 pieces), and much darker. I was going to focus on hard memories. Bad memories. They have made me who I am, they are … inspired, but they are sad. So I’m not sure, do I want to go to a “dark place” for a couple of months? Is it worth it for “art”? Will I even be able to look at the pieces afterwards? Will it be cathartic or gut wrenching? Am I over thinking it. Will the fact that it’s winter help with the inspiration or will it be a dangerous combination.
I could stop now, end on a high. Or I keep going, see where my inspirations lead me.

For now, I’ll focus on resting and motivating myself to open that very heavy box that came in the mail today. I’m so excited because It’s my new easel, but it looks like it will be lots of work to put together and my right arm is begging for a break. So maybe I need to motivate myself NOT to open it. Rest Caroline, I know you feel like time is limited but it will be more pleasurable if you aren’t crying in pain while putting the easel together.

Alright, Caro out (for a few days)