People ask me how I'm doing, and I have no idea how to answer that.
The truth is hard to tell, and I'm assuming, hard to hear.

Physically;
My right arm is completely numb, and hard to use.
I can barely hold up my phone.
I can't walk at all, and sometimes I can barely stand.
Transferring from my wheelchair to my bed or toilet,
is becoming an issue. (As well as vice-versa)
Lifting my head is sometimes difficult.
It's getting hard sitting up straight in my wheelchair.
Some days I struggle for breath.
My body aches from sitting AND lying down.
I feel suffocating pain.
And I am exhausted.

Mentally:
I'm scared to death.
Scared about;
an elevator being installed in my living room,
making the space even smaller.
Lying in bed looking up at a hoist.
Spending the rest of my days in pain.
Not being able to go outside.
Spending my days watching people leave.
Scared I will feel left out, jealous of their freedoms.
Scared I won't be able to look out a window.
Being bathed by strangers, of being in a vulnerable situation and not being able to protect myself.
I'm afraid I will never make art ever again.
Never take another picture.
I'm afraid of being a burden on my friends, my family, my doctors, and society as a whole.
And completely losing myself, and disappearing into this disease.

I feel purposeless.
An empty shell.
I feel like I am rotting and spreading the mold to anything/anyone near.
I feel judged for not being stronger, for giving up on things I love. 
To me it doesn't feel like I'm giving up. It feels like these things have been taken from me.
I feel alone in my pain.
I feel like I'm dying, even though people tell me I'm not. 
I feel I have passed my due date, that I've overstayed my welcome.
I feel empty and unmotivated. 
I no longer want, for fear of the unsurmountable obstacles. 
I feel perpetually pensive and anhedonic.
I no longer seek happiness, simply peace.

So how am I? I am broken, and a real buzz kill.
How are you?