I am in the process of converting my art studio into a wheelchair accessible bedroom/art studio. My big art table is being converted into a big art desk. I’ve purchased electric blinds (since I can no longer reach the curtains). I’ve purchased an electric bed to help me rise (double bed, so I can have visitors ;). I’ve cleaned up the closet (was storage) so I can fit my clothes, my family painted the walls (the walls still had the color from when we moved in), Dean cut out space in my art supply shelves so I could push in a dresser. The space is coming along. It is a very weird process. I feel unable to cry because it’s a really nice space (for myself anyways), but I am also unable to smile because of the fear, the sorrow and the motive behind the change. I feel … lethargic.

My favorite part of the process has been going through my stuff (to organize) and finding objects I’ve collected throughout the years hoping to cover them with paint. New ideas have been popping into my head, and I feel an upsurge of creativity and desire inside me (something I had lost in the last couple years). I feel more awake and aware again.  It feels good to WANT to paint again.