Camera, feet; feet, Camera

I thought I would introduce you two because I’m planning on posting more feet/shoe “selfies”. It occurred to me one night while reaping the benefits of a newly legalized “medicine”. I.e. I was super high.

My feet were build for walking, and the fact that they can no longer do this oh so wonderful task, leaves me feeling….less then I am. Half my body is useless. So I’m giving them purpose. They can be a good feature. With some cutes shoes, a nice pair of jeans and a pretty landscape, they can have purpose again.

Camera, therapize!

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Dedication

The painting is done, it has been shipped. And now I wait for it to arrive at its destination. I don’t know if you will like it, perhaps it’s not what you expected. No matter the outcome, I want you to know the story behind it. ….

Brushstrokes

This painting is for an old friend, someone I have always thought of in high regards. We never knew each very well but I met her during the most innocent time of my life. Early elementary. It was a time where my father was alive, where the worst thing I knew was loosing my marbles in a marbles game, where I had too many friends to pick from at recess, a time where things were simpler and emotions easy to understand. It is why I started this painting with white and primary colors.

But this period in time, this memory, is also attached to the memory of my father dying when I was only 11. Even though I had moved and you were not in my life at this time, I had to include it, the black. The pain feeds the good memories, it makes them stand out.

We met again 5 years later, in high school. 5 years is such a short time but the differences in me were astronomical. Looking at you reminded me how much I had changed, how much I had lost, how much I was broken. You were good, you were where I wanted to be, and you were impossible to reach. You were primaries and I was now the opposite. I was orange, purple and green. Secondary colors.

In the end, this painting is inspired by feelings and the colors they are linked to. It is nothing and it is everything. It is a story, a life, a relationship. The constants and the glimpses. It is convoluted and quite simple. The brushstrokes are smooth, some brisk, some well thought out, and others spontaneous. They represent the days you existed in my life. Over a thousand. A short time really, but impactful. Looked upon fondly, no matter how brief and how distant. Up close or from afar: The strokes are seen, the impact is felt.

This painting is for Tamara.

 

To go or not

Until very recently, I never considered moving out of Montreal. Why would I, it’s an amazing city. It’s got a ton of great restaurants, it’s multi cultural, its bilingual, it has tons of events, shows and parks, my family is here, my friends are here (or close), it’s got an underground city, public transportation, good schools and universities, amazing fireworks in the summer, amusement and water parks, not to mention the laurentians are close by. We have escape rooms, theatres, bars, museums, beautiful architecture, a renown circus, bowling alleys, pool halls, dance clubs, great music, festivals, a mountain with a view, sledding, cross country skiing, fashion, an art world, health care and services, my children’s childhood and friends, docks, an insectarium, a science center, a planetarium, huge libraries, history, and lots of future potential. So again I ask, why would I ever leave?
Because of the mother f-ing weather, that’s why.

Finding my voice

I’ve been good.
It’s been a long battle but, I grudgingly accept that I have SPMS.
It takes everything to pull myself up, and stand.
I no longer have the strength to fight and ignore its existence,
I need to focus on adapting.

I took a couple trips a while back. Journeys really.
And during these trips I discovered I wasn’t done.
That there is still much I can do, and still lots I want to do.

This change in me, in my state of mind, has me asking many questions.
Jumping from one thought to the next, never quite resolute.

But, as much as I want to answer these questions, I also don’t want to be bound by the answers. Because I believe the search for my voice is just as profound as finding it.

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